writer's block

It was back into the thick of things for me this morning first thing.

Being away, as I was, for a break last week has its merits. But its downside is the coming back.

Not the coming back itself so much as the pile of stuff that's quickly mounted up while I've been away. As in e-mails mainly.

Even my computer was a little bit slow off the mark this morning. It wasn't keen to follow through the 'Send and Receive' command.

Sending, yes (probably because there wasn't much to go out). But receiving - definitely not.

'Error' was the only thing I got.

Which was awkward, since it wasn't long before the phone was ringing. A whole range of people who'd plainly sent me an e-mail and were wondering what my response to their queries were.

(They were too polite to ask why I hadn't responded at all).

Not the most auspicious way to start back in!

However, I tinkered around with the thing, ran a simple 'Repair', checked the account settings, re-booted - all the things like that. A kind of technical version of repentance.

And, yes, I prayed hard. Lord, this is not good. This is not the way I need to be starting back in.

'Repentance' was followed by renewal. The thing started working again.

And the e-mails came flooding in. About 150 of the things.

I know that's barely half of the daily inbox of a lot of folk. But it's not the sort of volume that I'm used to for myself.

In a strange sort of way it felt good, though, I have to say.

It felt, I think, like the end of "writer's block" must feel for those who make their livelihood that way.

Like Andrew Motion, the Poet Laureate, who steps down from his post next year. Gladly. Ten years is more than enough for that sort of writing to order.

Poor man.

He says that having to write poems to mark special royal occasions is a pretty thankless task. "I dried up completely about five years ago," he said a couple of months ago.

That, I think, remains one of my biggest fears. What happens if I simply dry up? If the words just simply won't come? If the messages aren't coming through?

Scary.

Since that's what my work is about.

Words.

Like the Poet Laureate I have to 'write to order'. There are services to lead, messages to preach, Scriptures to teach. What happens if the words won't come? If there's a case of writer's block?

I was pondering that again this afternoon. There's a piece or two I have to write for the upcoming issue of our magazine.

I've known about it for long enough. Thought about it quite a bit. But not with a lot of success!

Writer's block sort of stuff.

So it was head down and at it again this afternoon.

Repentance and prayer once again.

And at last there was something to show for it all. Too much, in fact!

A bit like the e-mails again.

But it's better by far being able to press the 'Delete', and get rid of the excess stuff, than not getting messages coming through at all.